When I was 22, I worked a number of part-time jobs. One of them was cleaning the floors of a No Frills late at night. It wasn't glamorous but it paid and in the end, money for a poor student was all that mattered.
One night, I swept and washed the floors and I got ready to buff the floors. The floor buffer was powered by propane and it was very easy to operate and move. On this night, however, it wasn't cooperating with me. I can't remember exactly what happened but when I turned on the buffer, the tank started to gush propane in the air. It was so thick, I could see it.
What happened next was just sheer ignorance on my behalf. I stuck my hand into the propane spewing out of the tank to turn off the machine. Pain shot through my hand and that should have meant that my body was to stay away from it. Unfortunately, I didn't listen to my nervous system and I stuck my hand back in and the painful sensation in my hand resumed. I turned off the buffer but now I had to deal with the intense pain in my fingers. It was a freeze burn and it hurt more than I care to remember.
In a few hours, my fingers had blistered and bubbled and I had to go to a local clinic to get looked at. I had third degree burns from the propane and now I had to get treated so that I could get better. Bandage wraps and soothing cream did the trick. If only I hadn't stuck my hand into something so painful!
You and I have done that before though. We've chosen to hold onto grudges for much longer than we should have. What started out as being angry for being turned into grief, rage, bitterness and hatred. We think about our wounds constantly. The wounds consume our thoughts and then our own words. People grow tired of hearing the bitter words spewing from our mouths. It's not a pleasant thing to be around.
When we make the conscious or unconscious effort to hold onto a grudge, it's like we're sticking our hands back in the propane again. Nothing but pain will follow.
If and when we release our grudges, the pain will remain for a while but it will lessen over time. To ensure complete healing (though scars may remain on our souls), therapy is recommended. Though you weren't looking for something bad to happen, it still did. When this is the case, don't stick around like I have with my grudges but move away from the source of the pain. It's the only way to get free, stop the infection and heal.
May you find the freedom to be free and heal today.
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